Late night

I have what is very possibly my last dialysis in a few hours.

The nervousness and anxiety ramped up a bit earlier tonight. I even went out for a walk in the neighborhood at like 1:30 AM. I got back and still had plenty of energy. Considering I hardly ever have much energy at all anymore because of dialysis, it's a strange feeling. I wish I had been able to ration that nervous energy out over the past 3 years and use it when I needed it. I had planned all day to go to sleep around midnight, which is much much earlier than normal for me, to rest up a little bit. Midnight came around and I wasn't the least bit tired. Go figure.

I don't have any idea what it's going to be like at dialysis today. I've been extremely blessed and lucky to have the very best staff at the dialysis clinic I could have ever asked for.  The techs, nurses, and dietitians have all been great.  Dialysis might make me feel like crap but these people make it so it's not terrible to be there.  I definitely have to say that I've made some friends from the staff there, even if we only get to talk to each other at work. Thanks to all of them for taking care of me these past few years and helping me make it through all of this.  And just so you know, giving out a form that asks me to pick my favorite staff member this year is seriously impossible. How could I ever choose? No way. There's no way I'm going to miss dialysis but I will miss talking to you guys and girls.

I'll probably post something more thorough about how I'm feeling overall later today, when it's not a totally obnoxious hour. Guess I'll try to get some sleep.