Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Not so pretty
I had the staples taken out of my arm yesterday. It's feeling much better, although still not back to normal. The incision is certainly not something nice to look at, but I guess it could be worse. While I was in the office, after getting the staples out, one of the nurses did an ultrasound on the rest of my arm to check out the other veins and such. There wasn't a followup appointment scheduled so I suppose it's just wait and see time now to see what the doctor wants to do in terms of a new fistula. I agree with the thoughts of the techs at dialysis in that, if it's still working fine without any problems, don't mess with it. I'd rather not have the rest of my arm all crazy.
Friday, July 6, 2012
To sum it up: al;fl;kajsjd;lkfakj;lsdfjkl;asd;flkjajkl;sefj;aisefjask;lef;jklae;lkj
Sooooooooooooooo... the past week and a half has been pretty rough. It could have been much worse, pain wise, but overall, it hasn't been pleasant. This post will probably be scatterbrained as I'm thinking of a million things at once.
The pain medicine bothered my head for quite a while. It stopped doing that after a few days though. My arm was hurting a great deal for a few days. I haven't been able to move it much either. Good news with those last two topics, I didn't have to take any of the pain medicine today, my arm barely hurt at all. That was a very welcome change. Hopefully I won't have to take it any longer and I can get it out of my system quickly and go back to feeling as normal as I get to feel these days.
This past Monday was my post-surgery checkup. The crazy doctor didn't even take off the bandage to look at the incision. He poked my arm a couple times. He then mentioned something that I had said earlier I really would not like to happen. The doctor said that since the fistula is getting so large in my upper arm because I have such good blood flow, we should probably look into setting up a fistula in my forearm, a little bit above my wrist. He said that fistulas in that area usually don't grow large like ones in the upper arm. He would put the fistula in and let it mature for a few weeks before using it, then if it worked properly, he would take out the original one. I don't really like the idea of having to get another fistula but if it means that my arm would be a manageable size again, would be safe, and not have any issues, I suppose I'm for it. I'd rather just have a transplant that works properly so I can be fully healthy again and get past all of this.
Most days I can handle everything well. I don't put up a front or pretend or anything like that. I usually just deal with things fine. Some days though, especially late at night since dialysis makes my insomnia worse, I just get so frustrated. I can't do anything to make any of it any better. I've always taken mostly good care of myself. I don't smoke, I don't drink, I eat relatively well. I follow my renal diet closely now. If there was anything I could do to improve my condition I would be all over it. I can't exercise to get better or anything. I just have to deal with it. It's very aggravating. The techs and nurses at the dialysis clinic are great and I'm blessed to have gotten such a great crew but I don't want to be there. I mean, I'm thankful it keeps me alive and I'm usually able to go out and do things, but not having any energy half the time is really annoying, so is having to schedule everything around treatment 4 hours 3 times a week, not being able to travel, not to mention going to the clinic in general is just depressing having to see all the elderly people that don't even try to take care of themselves. Don't get me wrong, I'm very grateful to be alive, to have the technology to be able to have dialysis, to have such great techs, nurses, and doctors, and to have such a wonderful family supporting me and helping me with everything. I think it's ok if I bitch a little bit to get some frustration out. Sorry you had to read all that.
Blah. Whatever though. I'll get through all this mess. None of this crap can hold me back. It'll just be more interesting stories to tell later. Thanks to everyone for your prayers and support, keep em coming. Hopefully I'll be getting a transplant one day real soon that works out and I'm able to put all this behind me. Yeah, that transplant will be real nice.
The pain medicine bothered my head for quite a while. It stopped doing that after a few days though. My arm was hurting a great deal for a few days. I haven't been able to move it much either. Good news with those last two topics, I didn't have to take any of the pain medicine today, my arm barely hurt at all. That was a very welcome change. Hopefully I won't have to take it any longer and I can get it out of my system quickly and go back to feeling as normal as I get to feel these days.
This past Monday was my post-surgery checkup. The crazy doctor didn't even take off the bandage to look at the incision. He poked my arm a couple times. He then mentioned something that I had said earlier I really would not like to happen. The doctor said that since the fistula is getting so large in my upper arm because I have such good blood flow, we should probably look into setting up a fistula in my forearm, a little bit above my wrist. He said that fistulas in that area usually don't grow large like ones in the upper arm. He would put the fistula in and let it mature for a few weeks before using it, then if it worked properly, he would take out the original one. I don't really like the idea of having to get another fistula but if it means that my arm would be a manageable size again, would be safe, and not have any issues, I suppose I'm for it. I'd rather just have a transplant that works properly so I can be fully healthy again and get past all of this.
Most days I can handle everything well. I don't put up a front or pretend or anything like that. I usually just deal with things fine. Some days though, especially late at night since dialysis makes my insomnia worse, I just get so frustrated. I can't do anything to make any of it any better. I've always taken mostly good care of myself. I don't smoke, I don't drink, I eat relatively well. I follow my renal diet closely now. If there was anything I could do to improve my condition I would be all over it. I can't exercise to get better or anything. I just have to deal with it. It's very aggravating. The techs and nurses at the dialysis clinic are great and I'm blessed to have gotten such a great crew but I don't want to be there. I mean, I'm thankful it keeps me alive and I'm usually able to go out and do things, but not having any energy half the time is really annoying, so is having to schedule everything around treatment 4 hours 3 times a week, not being able to travel, not to mention going to the clinic in general is just depressing having to see all the elderly people that don't even try to take care of themselves. Don't get me wrong, I'm very grateful to be alive, to have the technology to be able to have dialysis, to have such great techs, nurses, and doctors, and to have such a wonderful family supporting me and helping me with everything. I think it's ok if I bitch a little bit to get some frustration out. Sorry you had to read all that.
Blah. Whatever though. I'll get through all this mess. None of this crap can hold me back. It'll just be more interesting stories to tell later. Thanks to everyone for your prayers and support, keep em coming. Hopefully I'll be getting a transplant one day real soon that works out and I'm able to put all this behind me. Yeah, that transplant will be real nice.
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