What's really going on?

Okay, time to update this thing since I can breathe a bit now. There's a bunch to cover so guess I'll get to it.

School's out for summer. Finally. It was a good semester, but with all health stuff thrown in, it was also one of the most stressful I've had. I made it through though. 

It's been about a month and a half since I had the original fistula removed. My arm is healing well and looks much better than I thought it would. Dialysis started using my new fistula last Wednesday. It's working well, but it's still relatively small so there's been problems with it infiltrating.  Infiltrating is when the tech sticks me with the needle and it nicks the wall of the blood vessel. It immediately starts clotting to heal so it can't be used for dialysis during that treatment. From the outside, it's basically a bruise. Luckily, there's nothing wrong with the fistula itself though. The original one had the same problem quite a few times when it was newer also.  I still have the ASH catheter in, so we're using that when the fistula infiltrates.  Hopefully I'll be able to get that stupid thing out soon.

Although it's not about me, this week I received some of the worst news of this entire ordeal.  Dr. Matthew Mezger, my nephrologist, and his wife, died in a private plane crash in Arizona on Tuesday.  I've been seeing Dr. Mezger every week at dialysis and he's the one that keeps up with all my information, meds, and decides what needs to be done overall. He and his wife were on vacation and the plane was having trouble gaining altitude after takeoff.  I don't think I've begun processing it yet. They still haven't made an official announcement at dialysis, so I think that will probably happen tomorrow. I certainly don't know what this means for me health wise. Dr. Mezger was a very good doctor and definitely knew what he was talking about.  Thoughts and prayers for his family please.

Now for the other side of the spectrum. Today I had my appointment with the nephrologist at UC Davis Transplant Center for an overall status check.  I had been dreading and stressing out about this appointment so so much for the past few weeks (on top of finals, that's a ton of stress).  They didn't know about the surgeries I've had in the past few months so I was very worried that those would have a negative impact on the transplant situation.  The doctor said there would be no problem there whatsoever and that everything else checked out and looked good. All the tests and such are done. He needed to talk to a few people, and then he'll give me a call sometime to let me know when everything will be. So... I'm cleared for the transplant this summer, as far as we know.  It's looking possibly like July, but to be honest, we really have no clue whatsoever until he calls.  It's kinda hard to get too excited after all I've gone through because of things continually popping up to get in the way, but this is a very good sign. The doctor was extremely positive and encouraging today, something I really could use.  Definitely much needed good news finally.

I'm full of a huge mix of emotions. Happy, sad, nervous, excited, curious. Not sure how to feel with all of this. Overall though, hopefully everything is about to take a huge positive step forward, barring any more speed bumps.