Not so pretty

I had the staples taken out of my arm yesterday.  It's feeling much better, although still not back to normal.  The incision is certainly not something nice to look at, but I guess it could be worse.  While I was in the office, after getting the staples out, one of the nurses did an ultrasound on the rest of my arm to check out the other veins and such.  There wasn't a followup appointment scheduled so I suppose it's just wait and see time now to see what the doctor wants to do in terms of a new fistula.  I agree with the thoughts of the techs at dialysis in that, if it's still working fine without any problems, don't mess with it.  I'd rather not have the rest of my arm all crazy. 

To sum it up: al;fl;kajsjd;lkfakj;lsdfjkl;asd;flkjajkl;sefj;aisefjask;lef;jklae;lkj

Sooooooooooooooo... the past week and a half has been pretty rough. It could have been much worse, pain wise, but overall, it hasn't been pleasant.  This post will probably be scatterbrained as I'm thinking of a million things at once. 

The pain medicine bothered my head for quite a while.  It stopped doing that after a few days though. My arm was hurting a great deal for a few days. I haven't been able to move it much either. Good news with those last two topics, I didn't have to take any of the pain medicine today, my arm barely hurt at all. That was a very welcome change.  Hopefully I won't have to take it any longer and I can get it out of my system quickly and go back to feeling as normal as I get to feel these days.

This past Monday was my post-surgery checkup.  The crazy doctor didn't even take off the bandage to look at the incision.  He poked my arm a couple times.  He then mentioned something  that I had said earlier I really would not like to happen.  The doctor said that since the fistula is getting so large in my upper arm because I have such good blood flow, we should probably look into setting up a fistula in my forearm, a little bit above my wrist.  He said that fistulas in that area usually don't grow large like ones in the upper arm.  He would put the fistula in and let it mature for a few weeks before using it, then if it worked properly, he would take out the original one.  I don't really like the idea of having to get another fistula but if it means that my arm would be a manageable size again, would be safe, and not have any issues, I suppose I'm for it.  I'd rather just have a transplant that works properly so I can be fully healthy again and get past all of this.

Most days I can handle everything well.  I don't put up a front or pretend or anything like that. I usually just deal with things fine.  Some days though, especially late at night since dialysis makes my insomnia worse, I just get so frustrated.  I can't do anything to make any of it any better.  I've always taken mostly good care of myself.  I don't smoke, I don't drink, I eat relatively well.  I follow my renal diet closely now.  If there was anything I could do to improve my condition I would be all over it.  I can't exercise to get better or anything.  I just have to deal with it. It's very aggravating.  The techs and nurses at the dialysis clinic are great and I'm blessed to have gotten such a great crew but I don't want to be there.  I mean, I'm thankful it keeps me alive and I'm usually able to go out and do things, but not having any energy half the time is really annoying, so is having to schedule everything around treatment 4 hours 3 times a week, not being able to travel, not to mention going to the clinic in general is just depressing having to see all the elderly people that don't even try to take care of themselves.  Don't get me wrong, I'm very grateful to be alive, to have the technology to be able to have dialysis, to have such great techs, nurses, and doctors, and to have such a wonderful family supporting me and helping me with everything.  I think it's ok if I bitch a little bit to get some frustration out.  Sorry you had to read all that. 

Blah.  Whatever though.  I'll get through all this mess.  None of this crap can hold me back.  It'll just be more interesting stories to tell later.  Thanks to everyone for your prayers and support, keep em coming.  Hopefully I'll be getting a transplant one day real soon that works out and I'm able to put all this behind me. Yeah, that transplant will be real nice.

Ow, ow, ow.

It's Friday, my fistula revision surgery was midday Tuesday.  My head is feeling better, I'm not as woozy anymore, although I am still getting a little dizzy.  My arm is hurting like crazy though.  Dialysis is working fine.  There have been no issues related to the procedure with that, so that's good.  I was able to look at the incision when the nurse at dialysis changed the bandage.  It's really scary looking.  The vascular surgeon is really good at what he does, but definitely not so good at making it look decent afterwards. I'll have another big scar to go along with the one I already have from the original fistula surgery.  At the moment, there  are 7 very large staples holding the incision together as it heals. Certainly not a pretty sight.  I have a checkup with the doctor Monday morning.  Let's hope my arm starts feeling a bit better by then.

Post Fistula Op

I made it through the surgery well. I can't really tell a difference in my arm yet since it's all bandaged up, we'll see. The doctor didn't have to put in the central line catheter so that makes me very happy. Those are about the most uncomfortable thing ever, not to mention the fact you can't take a shower with one.  Still feeling woozy from the after effects of the anesthesia and meds. Glad that it's all over now though.

Adventures

There are many different types of adventures. This week and the past few weeks have brought a few different adventures to the table. Last week I got to take a bus and 2 trains down to Los Angeles to stay with a friend of mine and see her graduate from UCLA. This was the first time I had been away for more than a day trip since all this kidney nonsense reared its ugly head.  I had a great weekend and it certainly helped me relax and give me some breathing room. Thanks Traci, and congratulations!

The day after I returned from LA,  I had an appointment with the vascular doctor to checkup on my fistula. He was concerned with how it looked in my shoulder area so he scheduled a procedure to be done that Wednesday. I went the Access Center early Wednesday, had my vitals checked and then went into a different type of operating room I suppose you could say. It had the standard table and equipment but there were windows to the outside surrounding the room, giving it a very bright feeling. A short time later, they told me it was finished. They had giving me a local anesthetic on my arm, shot some dye up into it and took pictures of it. The official name of the procedure was an arteriogram, it's basically the same thing as an angiogram but for the fistula.  The doctor told me that he didn't see any blockages or issues at all so that was great. 


The doctor did want me to have a procedure at the hospital to remove some of the extra blood vessels that have grown quite huge around my fistula since I have such good blood flow.  I have that tomorrow morning and I'm kinda nervous.  I have to be asleep for it, so I know it won't bother me while it's happening, but it just sounds like a very painful operation to go through afterwards.  We'll see. The doctor also said that he could make the fistula look "pretty" but I would have to have a central line catheter in my shoulder again for 2 to 3 weeks. No thank you! I've gotten through the fistula looking like it does for this long, I can handle it.  So here we go tomorrow.


Oh, if that wasn't enough, I'm taking a class over the summer to get it out of the way. Of course this week would be the week that's jampacked with stuff with class. Great.

School

After a day with four tests and a paper, I'm finished with the Spring semester of school.  I have to admit I'm glad that semester is over.  I made it through a year of school while going to dialysis.  I can't say it was always easy, but it's done. 

I have a little break then I'm signed up for a short class over the summer for a few weeks, and then I have another break before diving into a ridiculously crazy semester full of classes all day long.  Let's hope that goes as well as these two did, or better.

Checkup

I went to see the vascular surgeon last week for a checkup on my fistula since it's pretty monstrous now and the people at dialysis were getting worried. A nurse at the doctor's office did an ultrasound of basically my entire arm. The doctor came in, poked it two or three times, and said everything was fine as long as it was still working properly and there haven't been any problems. So that's good, one less thing to worry about.

Spring semester is in full swing now also. Luckily, this semester all 5 classes are ones I need. Unfortunately that doesn't mean they're all interesting. Oh well.